Every now and then, a classified ad pops up that catches more than just the eye—it catches the full, unadulterated reflection of the seller. And let me tell you, when it comes to guitar sales, it’s all about the polish, not the flesh.
I mean come on guys ! The guitar is nicely polished. You want to take the best picture of your axe. We want to see the best picture of your axe. You want it to sell fast, and nice. We don’t wanna see your belly, your nipples or even worse, your junk!
So here’s the thing, folks: When your guitar is so shiny that it doubles as a mirror, there’s a checklist to run through before snapping that pic.
Tip #1: Apparel is Everything
Yes, we’re looking to see the guitar, but if your birthday suit is making a cameo, it’s not the kind of “bare tone” buyers are after. Follow the number one rule when you take a picture of a guitar : Get dressed ! There’s a good reason why we posted this as our first guitar fail rule – yeah we like to post rules that don’t exist – a long long time ago. You don’t want you’re junk to show up uninvited.
Tip #2: The Right Angle
You want the perfect shot? Go for the angle that captures the guitar’s curves, not yours. Always remember : Reflection is a bitch! The right angle will allow you to be flexible with the rule number one above. Yes that means you can be buttnaked to take the picture as long you don’t show up in the frame. You’ll be the only in the know which is a rather satisfying feeling.
Tip #3: Room with a View
Choose a well-lit room, preferably one without reflective surfaces. The only thing you want to see double of is that guitar’s value.
Tip #4: The Background Check
Your guitar should be the star of the show. No cameo appearances from your laundry, your 1980s wallpaper, or, God forbid, your “less is more” approach to clothing.
In conclusion, when the time comes to part ways with your beloved axe, remember: the reflection of a shirtless pantless guitarist might not set the world on fire, but it will shift the focus from the strings and frets—where it belongs.
As for the rule about getting dressed? It’s less of a suggestion and more of a commandment. Because in the world of guitar sales, the only six-pack buyers should see is a half dozen stompboxes coming free with purchase.
Exploring the funny side of guitar since 2011. Our motto is simple: “In it for the guitar fail!“
